The move to Folsom was a little rough for my guys, but in May we moved again when we closed on a house we bought here in Yuba City. And then it got really rough. The boys missed their friends from both places, and were having a rough time making friends with new ones here. Helaman did a bunch of fun classes through the rec department that he loved, including lego and art classes. But still didn’t make any friends. I thought it would get better when school started, but it didn’t.

By the time school finally began Helaman was in a funk. He was fine at home with us, but hated going to church, and felt really lonely. And still stressed from so much changed in such a short amount of time. Then once he got to school he was okay for the first couple weeks, but as routine settled in, he got more and more bored. There wasn’t anything they were learning in first grade that he didn’t already know. The slow pace of teaching other kids things that were already clear to him was really getting to him, and he started acting out. I think to entertain himself. He was never doing anything really bad, just distracting and crazy.

One day I got a call from his teacher after school. They just didn’t know what to do with him. He wasn’t being “send to the principal’s office” bad, but nothing seemed to be working. He’d stop whatever distracting thing he was doing when you asked him to, but there was always something else coming. (It reminded me of Please Don’t Eat the Daisies). The next day I got a call from the Vice Principal. Helaman had been in his office 3 times already that day. By the time I went to pick him it up it was 6 times in one day!

I have to pause here to say the school was great. When I was talking to teachers and administrators through all of this, no one was ever angry, and everyone was just trying to figure out how to best help Helaman.

Okay, so back to my story. After talking to Mr. Mogenheimer (the VP) after school that day with me, Helaman came home and spent the afternoon picking up buckets of rocks in the back yard and went straight to bed after homework and dinner. I didn’t yell at him, but I figured he had to know that this wasn’t okay in our family. And then I started fasting. I felt so overwhelmed, and confused, and lost. I had no idea what to do next.

On the way to school the next morning, I felt like I needed to tell Helaman it was a new day, and we could pretend yesterday just didn’t happen and start all over. It was a new beginning. His face lit up at the idea, he looked like such a burden had been lifted. I have to say I know that feeling!

The VP was in his classroom observing the next two days. The first day after the terrible horrible no good very bad day he was better but still jittery. I went to meet with Mr. M. before school got out that day to talk about what he had seen and what we do from here. And as I talked to him, not because of anything he said, and not from my own genius, I suddenly knew what we had to do.

When school was out I went to talk to Mrs. Torres. We decided that instead of trying to make Helaman slow down and sit while she taught the class how to do work he had already finished we would give him other work to do. The next day I sent a packed of stapled blank pages, and he’s allowed to do art whenever he is done with his work. He’s done some amazing work, and the behavior problems have vanished completely. I’m so grateful that Heavenly Father knew exactly what Helaman needed when I had no idea.

The concept of starting over has been really good for him in many ways. Somehow that released him from the funk he had been in with other kids, and he immediately started making friends and playing at recess instead of sitting alone on the bench. He’s like a new kid. So happy. And I can’t explain how happy that makes me!

Meanwhile, his teacher is working on testing him to see how far advanced he really is from where he should be at the beginning of first grade and we’ll make a plan from there. The principal tells me it’s a nice problem to have. I hope he’s right. And I know with Heavenly Father guiding me through this, life can be right for my boy.

I should also say that one day during all of this, I suddenly felt like it was really important to sign my boys up for flag football. One of the kids from Helaman’s church class ended up being on his team, and it’s made all the difference for him at church, too. They have started including him, and he feels like they like him now, and he belongs. What a difference two weeks can make!

When we first moved to Ridgecrest it was a hard adjustment for me to not be working, and sitting on boards, and all the other things that took me away from home. It was just me and the boys all day every day, and I didn’t know what to do with them. But now I can’t imagine life any other way. I love playing with them and laughing with them and spending our time together. Isaiah and I are going to be very lonely when Helaman goes to school…

Oh, and hey, I like the way you roll!

Helaman: Dad, are adults allowed to talk to strangers?

Dad: Yes, buddy, adults can talk to strangers if they need to.

Helaman: Good, then you can tell that guy over there to stop smoking!

(And then it’s Omar’s fun job to explain why some people already know it’s bad but choose to do it anyway, so you don’t need to tell them again… )

At Disneyland on the Star Wars Ride in October

Operator: And there is no smoking.

Helaman (loudly): My dad never smokes!

Someone in the crowd: Yeah, no smoking!

(Everyone on the ride breaks out into cheers and applause.)

What a funny little guy!

Our ward does trunk or treat on the night before Halloween for some dumb reason(s). So we got to dress up twice this year. Isaiah was sleeping when I dyed my hair black and put on the black lipstick and eye make up on Friday and he was scared and wouldn’t come near me when we woke up. So dad had to get him ready and put his make up on. Once he was all painted I guess he realized it was fake, and we were friends again.

There was a little carnival inside the church before the trunk or treat, and the boys had fun trying out the games. They never could get a ball to land in the glasses, but they did great on the other ones. Well, Isaiah cheated at the others, but he still had fun and got prizes.

The next day we had a very tired 8 a.m. soccer game, and then our end of the season soccer party at the part at lunch time. Then we went trick or treating again with some friends and had lots of fun. Isaiah was still dragging through it all, but Helaman couldn’t have been any happier, tired or not. A lot of people in Ridgecrest do some really fun stuff for Halloween, and we had a great time checking it all out and getting lots of yummy candy.

We hadn’t had time to get dinner before we went trick or treating, so we ended up at Taco Bell late that night with lots of other people having a late dinner. The boys were really good, even so tired, and entertained the people around us by being their cute selves. We’re all tired today, but it was a great Halloween.

*As requested I’ve added a better witch picture (thanks Khiana) and another cute one she sent me of Helaman eating the donut.

And for your entertainment, our scary/silly Halloween faces.

John's Pizza

Since both boys have birthdays 9 days apart, the beginning of October turned into a whole birthday month. On Wednesday before Isaiah’s birthday we went to John’s Pizza to celebrate with our friend Steven, since we wouldn’t be in town on his actual birthday.

The servers came and sang to Isa, which he loved, although he couldn’t stand to stay and eat the ice cream when there was so much fun to be had in the game room. Almost every game is broken, but the boys had tons of fun playing in the balls anyway (as you can tell by Helaman’s face if you look closely at this picture!

Krispy Kreme

Waves

Sand

Birthday

Disneyland!

Disneyland

Lovin' Mickey

Driving

Driving, too

Buzz

Fernando

Scooter Ride

Denny's

Birthday Party

4-Wheelin'

Dinosaurs

Racing

5

Helaman turned 5 this month. He’s such a fun son. (I’m a poet!) He loves the help me with “chores” and I am enjoying that while it lasts. He loves going to school and learning new things and playing with the kids there. He has such a curious mind, and I’m convinced, an almost photographic memory. He reminds me a lot of his dad in so many ways. He wants to know how everything works and is never satisfied with a blow off answer. He has his own ideas, and while he wants to be good, he also wants to do what he thinks he wants to do right then (Omar anyone?)

He’s always been a little shy, but in his usual analtical way, he asked me about how to make friends and then has been applying the steps everywhere he goes. He loves to talk to everyone we encounter now, and does it in such a cute grown up way. Like when the lady at Wal-Mart tells us the total, he says,”Okay, great.” and then will probably thank her for the receipt before we leave.

He is still in gymnastics and LOVES it. He’s getting stronger all the time, and it’s been really good for him. He also really loves soccer, especially when his dad is the defender coach and he gets to play defender or goalie. Still anything is cool with dad. And he still loves art. He wants to do a craft everyday, and loves drawing on the computer now, too. Maybe he will be an artist when he grow up, though now he says mechanical engineer. “Like Daddy?” I asked. “No, so I can be a race-car driver.”  (Most Nascar drivers are mechanical engineers.) Funny kid.

Helaman cracks us up, and fills our lives with little boy joy. Happy Birthday, Buddy. We love you!

You can click on any of the picture to see them in more detail and read about them.