Archive for category We Believe
Blessedly Strange Blessings
Posted by Jinny in Our Family, We Believe on August 29, 2008
Life has been strange lately here in the Crest. In awful and wonderful ways. I’d like to tell you about two of our family’s blessings in particular.
We were back in Gridley for a few days last week to attend the funeral of a good friend of mine. It was nice to see our families for a minute.
I was supposed to make the trip alone with the boys. But when it came time to leave I had a little crying break down. My husband took pity on me and threw some things together and came with us. As we were driving home he told me he had felt like we were going to break down and taht is why he decided to come.
We drove at night both ways so the boys would sleep and it wouldn’t be so awful for them. On the way home Saturday night we noticed how lonely the Tehachapi highway was in the dark desert late at night. I was really glad my husband was there with me.
Well… on the way home from Church the next day, in the parking lot as we started the car actually, our belt blew off with our air conditioning compressor. We haven’t had the van to drive since then as we’ve been trying to finish the house before our assessment today. That’s one blessing.
The second… A few days before we left to Gridley I was making Spaghetti for dinner and I as I stirred I splashed the boiling water and burned my stomach badly. It hurt to the point that I couldn’t stop trembling–reaffirming the fact I do not want to burn to death, but anway.(I know, I know… I’m a spazz, but that’s not the point of the story this time, bear with me!)
I’m so grateful for these two experiences. We’ve had wonderful opportunity to teach Helaman about how Heavenly Father loves us and really hears our prayers. Before we left to come home from Gridley we said a prayer that we would be safe. And we made it all the way here and dropped the belt 4 blocks from our house at church the next day. When I burned my stomach Helaman prayed for me at family prayer and in his personal prayers that night. After he went to bed we were talking about how cool it would be if I was healed and his prayers were answered so he would learn about how Heavenly Father really hears him. Well, I woke up in the morning pain free, it never hurt again. We have talked about it a lot since then, and how we made it home safely after we prayed. I’m so grateful for the opportunities we’ve had to teach our son such powerful lessons about God’s love lately–and I praise His name for my burnt stomach and broken car. 
Some guys grandpa
Posted by Jinny in We Believe on August 24, 2008
One of the counselors in our bishopric today was speaking about the kind of way God loves us. He told a story about when he was in college and broke his tooth. He called his grandfather who was a retired dentist. His grandfather came and picked him up and helped him take care of it. He was comforting the whole time and when he dropped him off, he gave him a hug and said, “Mortality is hard, isn’t it?” The amazing thing about was that his grandfather was dying of cancer at the time. But he didn’t talk about how he was feeling, or suffering, he just loved his grandson.
And that is how God loves us. He’s sad about the bad choices of his children, I’m sure he’s busy. But in our interactions with Him, it’s never about that.
That’s what I need to do better. That’s the kind of mom and wife I dream of becoming. There’s always been this image in my head, but somehow, that story today solified to me what it really was. I need to stop worrying about how I feel and what my complaints are and focus on theirs. Even when I’m tired or stressed or busy. This week, that’s the goal…
Find a Penny
Posted by Jinny in We Believe on July 21, 2008
My Grandma sent me this story, and I thought it was so sweet I had to share:
Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband’s employer’s home… My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.
The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband’s employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.
As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.
Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.
He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?
Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.
A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?
“Look at it,” he said. “Read what it says.”
She read the words “United States of America.”
“No, not that; read further.”
“One cent?’ ‘No, keep reading.”
‘”In God we Trust?”
“‘Yes!”
“And?”
“And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him; who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!”
Inspiration from House?
Posted by Jinny in Jinny, We Believe on May 22, 2008
I was watching House with Omar yesterday. I love this show, but I couldn’t tell you why. I think I feel smart when I watch it. Ha ha ha. Anyway, I think Heavenly Father used it to teach me something very important yesterday.
I couldn’t explain the feeling, even to myself. This is my problem with just about everything. But it is definitely my fish.
House: You’re afraid to change. You would rather imagine that you could escape, instead of actually trying. Because if you fail, then you’ve got nothing. You give up the chance of something real so that you can hold on to hope.
If I keep holding back, I can just believe that if I tried I would be good. And I’m afraid to find out otherwise.
Now the questions is to figure out how to get over it…
Closer to Christ – Day 1
Posted by Jinny in Jinny, We Believe on May 20, 2008
I recently bough a book called “21 Days Closer to Christ
I’m also going to share my journey here because writing about it helps me reflect and meditate on it, because it will help me stay motivated to keep trying, and because I am grateful for the opportunity to bear testimony of Christ.
Stake Conference
Posted by Jinny in We Believe on May 18, 2008
I really enjoyed Stake Conference today, even while contending with two (and sometimes three) boys who have a hard time sitting there in the heat for 2 hours. I didn’t have hands free to take notes, but there are some things I felt that I want to remember.
The Fruits
Posted by Jinny in Jinny, We Believe on April 22, 2008
An article in Meridian Magazine really got me thinking this morning. It started with:
When you consider Jesus’ comment, “By their fruits ye shall know them” (Matthew 7:20), do you ever ask yourself, “What are the fruits of my life?” I do. I ask what fruits I want to bring forth. What fruits do I want to be known for?
The author had her answers to the questions, but it really made me think about mine. What are my motivations? What’s important to me? What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to be known for? My mind went to my family first, more specifically to my kids. At first I thought I want to be known for raising righteous sons to the Lord. But then I realized that I can’t really say that. While I can influence their righteous choices, my fruits can’t depend on their agency. I needed to rethink that idea. What could I accomplish?
- I want to love my children, and do my level best to teach them the gospel and make my home a place where they can feel the Spirit.
Articulating the goal makes me want to do so much better; to be more patient, and loving, to testify more, and to do more to keep the things that drive the Spirit away out of my home.
The second thing I thought of was my own Spiritual growth. The author of the article said the fruit she wanted was the peace of mind that comes from knowing the Savior. That is a wonderful thought. I kept thinking about all the things that go into that, and the time I want to spend every day getting to know him. I always have great plans for my personal scripture study, the hours I want to spend studying and praying. Somehow things don’t really seem to work that way. But something later in the article helped me articulate the fruit that I was thinking of.
- I want to always remember Him.
I know I already promise to do this, but life gets so busy, and it seems like I forget. When I remember to focus whatever I’m doing on Him, I do feel His peace in my life. I still need to work on training my mind to come back to Christ, to keep him in the forefront of my thoughts and heart all of the time. I know I can dedicate even the mundane details of my life to him, and find joy and peace in say, picking up with Helaman for the 500th time in a day. That’s the fruit I want. A life always focused on Him.
Thinking about the fruits as what I want to be known for really gave pause. When I’m being completely honest with myself, I want to be known for being smart and funny. I want to be known as a person who is reliable, and the person who gets things done. I want to be known for being cheerful and upbeat. For being brave. For being helpful. Perfect, actually, would be great. It’s hard to separate what is just being prideful, from what are really good goals. I know it’s all in my intent, to serve God or be cool myself, but it’s hard for me to tell.
I think what it really all comes down to in the end there’s a simple way to state what it is I want to be known for.
- I want to be known for being good.
Well, that’s a lot to think about….
Statements of Disbelief
Posted by Jinny in We Believe on April 16, 2008
We’re Mormon. I was raised Mormon and Omar is a convert. My siblings were also raised Mormon, but a couple of them are struggling with that right now, which is really hard on my family. They say they don’t believe the Church is true, that’s their “Statement of Disbelief”.
I’m not sure, however, that they realize what that necessarily means they are saying they DO believe. It’s really easy to focus on the doubts and questions, and let that cloud what is good and we find to be true.
For example, if you say the Church is not true, you are also saying that you don’t believe in Eternal Families or Eternal Marriage. That doctrine is unique to Mormonism, so if the Church isn’t true, there is no such thing. But there is more to it than that, even.
- If the Church isn’t true you believe either that Joseph Smith was a skilled conman or crazy.
- Okay, that may be easier to believe, it’s far removed, but that also means that Gordon B. HInkley must have been a very talented liar, as well as our current prophet, Thomas S. Monson.
- It also means the Book of Mormon was crazily written in short amount of time with all kinds of details that Joseph Smith had to have guessed, that went against the current knowledge of the time and then have later proved to be true.
- Also, the doctrine that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are distinct individuals is Mormon only doctrine, so that’s out, too.
And maybe they really are ready to make these positive statements of belief, but I doubt it.
I don’t have a perfect knowledge about all things. Do any of us? I have to go on faith a lot of the time. But there is so much I DO believe, that I’m sure enough of that I can’t let go of them. And then helps me through the times I have questions.
I do believe in Eternal Families. I believe that Joseph Smith was a good man, telling the truth, and that he was a Prophet of God. And the same goes for Gordon B. Hinkley and Thomas S. Monson, now. I believe the Book of Mormon is divine, and truly the Word of God. I find the things in that book to be good, and they bring me closer to Christ, they make me a better person, and they bring me peace. That can’t have come from a big scam. I believe the church is truly God’s church. I’ve found that be living my life that way, I find happiness.
And for the record, I’ve always found my questions answered eventually. It’s often after the trial of my faith, but the answers are there. For the more historical or philosophical questions, I’ve found the FAIR wiki to be a wonderful resource. Other answers have come from conference, or the scriptures, even my sweet husband sometimes.
If any of you are not ready to get into the fringe stuff, but just want to know more about these unique Mormon doctrines, please check out mormon.org.
General Conference
Posted by Jinny in We Believe on April 13, 2008
I know that General Conference is always wonderful. I know it’s full of answers and inspiration. I know that. But it isn’t always that way for me. It’s no ones fault but my own. Sometimes I just let myself get too distracted, or sleepy, or busy. Sometimes I’m just not ready to listen. Sometimes it’s just time for a really great nap. But not this time. The Lord has been working hard on humbling me lately, and this conference I was ready to listen.
I love being a mom. I love my boys, and I wouldn’t trade them or my time with them for anything. But lately I’ve felt very overwhelmed. It probably has a lot to do with Isaiah not sleeping much so I’m really tired. And Helaman is getting older and wiser and needs new things from me that I’m just learning. But it’s more than that, too. I’ve been feeling the responsibility of being the one in charge of meeting all their needs, physical & spiritual & emotional… I’ve suddenly recognized the huge job that lies ahead, I’ve measured myself, and found myself lacking. I need to be so many things for them, and I do my best everyday, but sometimes I really struggle feeling equal to the task.
The Lord has been humbling me in other ways as well. We’re getting close to Omar’s graduation and we still haven’t decided what life looks like after the end of May. Every time we think we know what job he is going to take and where we are going to live and all that good stuff, things change, the world gets more confusing, and we still find ourselves unsure. Life is an awfully big adventure. We’ve both been learning to turn stuff over the Lord and stop believing we can control the universe. I really thought I could before…. Anyway, more humbling.
And so, in this time of change and uncertainty about so many things, conference this time found me ready to be inspired. And this is what I got out of conference this April:
- The Lord really does know me. Within the first moments of conference, specific questions we’ve had about how to teach and help our boys were answered. Talk after talk seemed to address the very questions I hadn’t even known how to ask, even in my prayers.
- I’m not doing as bad as I thought. Sunday afternoon the boys were done being quiet and listening to men in suits on the t.v. So Helaman was playing games on my mom’s computer and kept needing my help. Then Isaiah woke up and was feeling needy and then he had a huge (and awful) poop. At this point, you can imagine how much I was listening to the men in suits. Frustrated, and feeling guilty about the not listening, I carried Isaiah’s diaper out to the garbage. As I was thinking about feeling guilty, I received a strong witness not to worry so much. Changing diapers and helping my three year-old was the better part I needed to choose right then. To everything there is a season, and that is the season we are in, and the season the Lord wants us to be in. When I walked in from the garbage it was time for Elder Ballard’s talk. I know a lot of mom’s felt like God was talking straight to them that afternoon, and I was sure one of them.
- There are lots of things I need to do better. Two specifically that stood out strongly to me were that I needed to be at helping find the lost sheep. Both through visiting teaching and missionary work. To this end, I followed Elder Bednar’s advice to take action in my faith and bought a box of Book of Mormon’s to give a way. I also started this blog. (I haven’t given any away yet, and I haven’t written much, but it’s progress). I also felt like I needed to stop being so critical. I’m working on that, too. And someday when I’m 50 and you meet me, hopefully you’ll think I’m a very kind person.
- I really felt the Spirit witness that President Monson is a true and living prophet of God. What a blessing to live in a time when there are prophets on the earth again.
I’m so grateful that the Lord saw fit to get my humble and ready for conference this year. Hopefully by October I can choose to be humble and not need to be compelled!